Nothing lasts forever. We are conditioned at a very young age beginning with fairy tales to believe in happily ever after and we interpret that to mean forever. The reality is even when we say our marriage vows the commitment is “until death do us part”. There is no commitment of forever; Long gone are the days of staying in unhappy relationships, we have options and judging by all the singles out there with marriage(s) and multiple relationships under their belt very few people are going what is considered to be “the distance.”
I do believe long-term love can happen, I believe it will happen for me. I am just not going to get caught up in the details of what defines long term. I mean really, what is long term? Is it one year, five years, ten years…? I have, at this point been divorced as long as my marriage lasted. I have been in few relationships and the “long-term” ones lasted between two and five years. For a while there I was beating myself up thinking that my shelf life is 5 years. I convinced myself that I throw in the towel too easily. The reality is that the five year relationship was dead four years in and yet I stayed, unhappy and afraid to leave. I didn’t want to disappoint family, friends, him….I didn’t want to be judged for not being able to hold a relationship together. I wasted a year of MY life worrying about what everyone else would think and feel.
The bottom line is that the only relationship that doesn’t have a shelf life is the one I have with myself. To thine own self be true. Living in an unhappy, dead-end relationship is akin to being in prison and the last time I checked falling in love isn’t a against the law. When the love and happiness is gone so am I. I often takes shots at myself for being a commitment phoebe, but in reality I am not. I have been and can be committed to someone other than myself. I wouldn’t leave my person when things get rough in terms of outside life, or illness…I wouldn’t abandon my love. When I love, I love with my whole heart. I am loyal and one hundred percent present. I leave when there is nothing left, when the relationship is no longer one. I leave when I feel mistreated or disrespected. I leave when the relationship morphs me into someone I no longer respect. People’s needs change, people grow and when two people aren’t on the same page love fades. Every relationship has a shelf life.
Today’s Mantra” To thine own self be true.
P.S I believe in Fairy Tales